the effect of living backwards

it was neat while it lasted , I kind of enjoyed seeing three or four or five or six moons , and two or three suns , but I had to get PRK eye surgery last Friday because it was kinda getting in the way of driving.

I didn’t even know what this was, or that other people could see it, until Carmelo kept calling me “animal weto “ and I was like “hey, now. What the fuck are you talking about, why do you call me that ?”

He just sees your whole fucking totem and the guy doesn’t care, he just wallows around in a ditch by the river eating leaves and bark and shit and he doesn’t even care how anyone or anything looks or what day or time it is. He just doubles over laughing and yells ANIMA WETO … but okay, diplopia is why I used to be able to “see” the things I called “potentialities” or slivers of timelines around me in a 360 degree radius … I have fantastic 180 degree peripheral vision … it’s just that what’s in front of me was getting to be a little strange .. and it was only as I passed a pedestrian in the breakdown lane and didn’t really see them clearly until I was directly next to them that I went oh my god .. I have to get this fixed..

it’s why I still make some typos or use a word twice or , don’t notice I pasted the same paragraph or sentence in two places. I had to let it go and stop obsessing about it a long time ago. It’s already … magnitudes of order better but I’m still doing it. By the end of last week I couldn’t even read what I was typing anymore.

it was only some time in October of this last year I was able to start leaving the house and getting some sunlight and at a little exercise again , I started going to ocean shore and bird watching.

when you see a double eagle or a double superimposed bird there aren’t “two birds.” you just have atmospheric conditions that cause the image of the bird to be refracted twice in the sky.

some of the birds are confused as shit because that’s how they see each other too. they’re trapped in a pocket of atmosphere where they can’t really hear or see anyone or anything outside of it.

I got to spending mornings calling them and coaxing them to shore with shiny objects or gems, and I guess some people thought I was weird or crazy , idgaf, as soon as you could coax one to the shore they’d start finding and calling and coaxing each other in too.

it’s kinda cool having an eagle that recognizes and greets you.

as I’ve said elsewhere a few times this caused triplicate mountain ranges and triplicate bluffs … and things like that …

.. or legitimately seeing a comet that nobody else could.. or seeing the inferometry and refractometry of the moon with four or maybe five beams of light coming down from it towards the earth like a pyramid or a cone shape, however in both of those cases, an iPhone xr and an iPhone 13 camera rendered them the same…. sometimes with a pyramid shaped refractive lens you’ve seen here before .. An iPhone 15promax doesn’t “see what I see” it does image processing … those photos are on 4plebs and or in the clusterfuck that is my blog archive. I’ve been more willing to describe things that the camera also sees …

I was at AA in a small town and I was so excited, I said, “you know. Now that I’m sober, i might actually be interested in having any idea what my sexual partners look like.” well that caused some coffee to be spit out and choked on but OOPS we aren’t in Los Angeles anymore, Toto.

Everyone has some degree of diplopia: every color you perceive is on its own wavelength of light, and all those wavelengths of light are superimposed (layered) on top of each other , so in addition to binocular vision where you turn two images from two eyes into one image in your brain, you’re also superimposing different wavelengths of light in front of you for all the different colors you can perceive into two images that are being perceived as one in your brain. “Colorblindness” is just some sort of cognitive “problem” related to diplopia, but kind of the opposite problem in diplopia, eg, your brain just discards those images from the wavelengths of those colors the same way it (for most people) discards the second image from your other eye.

diplopia and colorblindness can occur in a single eye though, or in both eyes, causing double or quadruple vision or more.. because you’re not separating all those images in all those different wavelengths , you’re processing all of them in diplopia- or in the case of colorblindness you are skipping some of them.

Alternate timelines or realities like the ones the DMT elves live in are in a wavelength you can only see when you smoke, oh never mind, I’m being facetious now so that I don’t have to admit that I’m actually not sure how to consistently observe or interact with those environments. They do overlap in “spatial time” under the right conditions and in the right geographical locations, but you didn’t “go anywhere” or “time travel” because you are still exactly where you are right now, and that’s where you’ll remain “after” whatever it is that you prefer to call it. Muh “trip” Muh “abduction” Muh “contact” Muh “visitation” and I’m not going to place a limit on someone else’s understanding or experience of that. I tend to assume that whoever’s on the other side of the two cans and the string over here has the upper hand and a better grasp of it than we do. If I was on the outside looking in on this shithole prison planet and all the awful people that rule over it, i wouldn’t tell them shiiiit either. Absolutely, you can interact with those spatial times and with people who are in/from that spatial time and it’s only about to get even weirder. But it doesn’t last for very long before they fade away into the checkerboard.

if the maximum lifespan on earth is “114 years” then it would be 1,140 andromeda years.

In what is a “day” for them, four of our “days” have passed.

In what is a “year” for them, four of our “years” have passed.

And then a galactic year is something on the order of 15,200 of our years or 3,800 of their years.

That’s why time dilation and time compression are a factor, both of those can be induced experimentally on earth , this can be reproduced. Just go into a casino with no windows or clocks. Just drive all the way from Canada to South America, haha just kidding they will *never* allow that, for this exact reason.

A perpetual date Rolex with a 3135 caliber uses 31 jewels (instead of just quartz) and a glucydur balance.

In terms of chronometers, a glucydur balance is functionally obsolete as of 2015. Rolex introduced the paramagnetic blue parachrom hairspring in 2000 and that’s the real crux of the y2k problem. It’s that old timekeeping methods started disintegrating and became unreliable at the most fundamental level- not just in software.

A perpetual date Rolex with a 3235 caliber uses 31 jewels and a paramagnetic oscillator. Both of them oscillate at 28,800 vph, 4Hz, but the 3235 introduces the concept of “central hours” “central minutes” “central sweeping seconds” and it advances the date formally at 03:00.

Sweeping seconds , hours, minutes, isn’t really important for your wristwatch but it iiiiiiis for navigation instruments.

Did you know that in terms of tech companies, Rolex is as big as CERN?

If “time” is this constant, fixed, universal, unshatterable, unchanging eternal thing then, well never fucking mind … why is the length of a “second” variable these days, why would precision watchmaking change in 2000, why would watches made with the old techniques stop being accurate in 2015… the y2k problem could more accurately be called a y2k16 problem.

Nobody cares if we know things like this. School was more concerned with trying, unsuccessfully, to blue room me and instill obedience rather than intelligence in me.

Neither timekeeping method wins in a theoretical merger because they’re both arbitrary and neither of them are real.

The “universal now” is forever and and always “now” in the (((“vacuum of space”))). It’s relativity to my now and their now isn’t based on “now” though, it is based on the space time that occurs from “now” until the next oscillation of a quartz or a gem or a whole bunch of gems or an atom or a whatever and that’s what I mean by, it’s arbitrary, it’s not even real, it doesn’t matter, and it’s not the same thing here as it is there.

I can prove that under the right operating conditions , “now” isn’t even the same thing here as it is here..

now already came and went and decayed a loooong time ago.

If Andromeda is 2.537 million “light years away” that could be like, 202 years away based on galactic years or 667 years away based on andromeda years- easily in their lifespan – or 166 of our years away.

These are all approximately the same thing, I would imagine Trump is being a smartass when he says things like “oh I don’t know, I could live to be 200.”

That’s like me saying I’m 168 or even > 15,200 since we just had a full 15,200 galactic year elapse from our 1981, their 1982 to our 2024, their 2020/2050; our 2025, their 2021/2046. We run “forwards “ and they run “backwards” because of the direction of our rotation.

Our day is 1/4 the length of their day because we rotate at about 1000mph, and so do they, I guess, but from such a great distance that the math is something approximate to comparing the rotation speed of a wheel hub to the outer edge of the tire. They both have an approximately twenty four hour day.

Alternatively, maybe their planet is fucking massive, more so than “far away,” while having the same approximate rate of rotation. Of course there’s another planet and civilization, we’re just fucking drones and slaves and pay pigs for it – does anyone unironically think that the “United States government” is intelligent, organized, or useful enough to invent .. or .. literally accomplish anything.. ?

As others have noted things have been “off” since about 2008, when the gap between the gamma at aphelion vs perihelion began to double, and thats where things grow exponentially enough to where the galactic year , or the event we call year zero at “0CE” (2150 or so of “their years” ago, 2024 or so of “our years” ago) the 15,200 year galactic cycle was just “compressed” into the span of about 42 of “our years” (from maybe “on or about” 7/3/1981 to “on or about” 3/27/2024) or about 168 of “their years.” (from maybe on or about 7/4/1982 to on or about 4/1/2150)

You almost have to arbitrarily give them future years that move backwards because it would be even weirder to say that they’re in our past and that it’s now 2021 running towards 2020. Instead you say, it’s 2150 running backwards towards 2146.

They’re both arbitrary and nonsensical.

All timekeeping is.

they’re not in the “future” any more than I am in the “past”, e.g. the “moon” is tidally locked to earth so it’s always just “now” on the moon, conversely, in the “vacuum of (((space))),” in their parlance, you would be in the universal time of “now,” we are merging with another galaxy and it’s “now” here and it’s “now” there and it’s “now” on the moon….. the easiest way to explain this would be to say that if it’s “9:50pm” here, at this very moment, and its easy for you to understand that it is “4:50am” in Switzerland “right now.”, then why would you have a problem understanding that when you compare “here” to “there” they are , to us, in the “spatial time of 2150, descending towards the spatial time of 2146 under the constraints of how we would have to calculate time and date based on our current construct of time and our calendar structure.”

Time runs faster on the moon itself because of time compression , although their “day” would last for 27 of our “days” , the reason it’s under time compression is that it is outside/away from earth, thus, it is “outside of time” from our perspective, now consider the amount of “time compression” involved for an even more remote galaxy or planet.

on earths surface: at altitude you experience time compression, underground you experience time dilation. Since the moon is tidally locked to earth, you would experience “time compression” on the side of it that faces earth and “time dilation” on the side of it that faces away from earth…. And that is only true of the moon because it’s tidally locked to earth..

anything or anyone above and out and away simply experiences time compression, so much so, that it’s currently 2150 give or take, and will be 2146 next year because that whole system will be a “year” closer to us than it is today … but about “4 years” backwards because that’s just how fast it’s spinning in the opposite direction of how earth spins. it’s spinning about 4x as fast, we spin completely around the wheel more like four times a day, not one as you are told. it feels like you’re stationary and the whole “day” takes 24 hours but it’s not, we do that four times in the span of time you call a day from their perspective … because we run at 1/4 of the speed they do .. so only can perceive it as one “rotation” … they can perceive that as four rotations…. this is how I get into problems where an “8 hour night” lasts 2 hours and 38 minutes under testing conditions, because that’s “quarter time” and we are factually in “quarter time”, relatively, and we do not perceive this.

Those windows when they’re doing (((“leap years”))) and (((“daylight savings time”))) are when they pull shenanigans to fuck over the ruble and the peso and all of the crypto currencies. every single one. Bitcoin halving occurs during the most prominent windows of this from the ides of march (3/15) through April fools day (4/1) and you’d have to really experience or interact with someone moving backwards in time to get “April fools day.”

you don’t really know, your computer and phone don’t really know, their clocks warp right along with this and people just have all manner of sleep and behavioral problems, crash their cars and have strokes and shit like that when they’re adjusting the clocks forwards and backwards …. Every single time …

prompts:

• smart enough to win some of our arguments
• not smart enough to win all of our arguments
• gun humper, right wing schizoposter
• cute but not cute enough for anyone at AA to try to sleep with

”you’re not into guys that are all cross eyed like that?”

omg, I didn’t even notice that but yussss @ the vulnerability of going in for a kiss and not being sure if you’re even looking into the eye that works or not, sploosh.

The tragedy isn’t in all of the awful words I ever heard from “clean and sober members of Narcotics Anonymous.”

”Go overdose and die.”

”Die of aids, you f*g.”

”I hope you die from the virus.”

”I hope you die from the vaccine.”

”I hope you relapse.”

”When you finally relapse , you’re going to go out and f*** a dog.”

”He’s a scrawny diseased pervert with a short time to live.”

”If I ever saw you on the street, I’d ____”

”I’ll kill you.”

”I’ll beat you.”

”If I ever see you at a face to face meeting I’ll murder you.”

I could cry a river and say oh poor poor me, feel sorry for me, words are so awful, and I have, and no one cared.

They just called me a liar.

They said I “deserved it.”

The tragedy is that I dropped out of CADC classes, I have no compassion left in me. I would rather “relapse” or “kill myself” or “die” than have another one of these shitheads address me like that, including and especially while I’m working.

I heard stories about patients kicking and screaming during forced blood draws for a DUI investigation, calling you every name in the book and whomping on everybody and my blood went ice cold.

Oh no no no no, not again.

Never again.

I closed the site.

I have no empathy left in me.

I don’t want to “help” others anymore.

The most awful thing about it is,

I was a nicer person before I met any of you but if you piss me off enough these days:

I’ll repeat some of those exact same words to you. They roll off the tongue just as easily as any of the other mindless pithy platitudes and cliches you ever parroted at me, “omg, it works if you work it, bgaww squak, Polly wanna cracker.”

Every time I’m bored and think about going to one of those “meetings.”

I think about the dudes at Lambda, or especially Kylon, snickering and cat calling and making passive aggressive comments when you walk into the room or if you dare to speak up, or the kind of attitude you would get for “daring” to not even want to respond or engage in that.

And I think that I would just about rather relapse or die than go back to that.

I guess I’m sober, but big fucking deal.

I am not a “better person” than I was when I arrived for attending that fucking freak show, online, or in person.

I had a dream where “I didn’t want to get into the drama” of why I vanished again , or I wanted to be a “bigger person” or “not sound exactly as crazy and enraged and resenful as I am about the whole affair” and I politely demurred and made up some superficial story.

The guy looked at me and said “I don’t believe you.”

I guess the most “honest” thing I can say then is I’m tired of caring if you people do or don’t. I am tired of talking to you at all.

I love snarling about “cult faced fucks” and going on a rampage about how if I had my way I would ban every religion on earth. Maybe the communists and soviets were on to something with that, is all I’m saying. What? God isn’t afraid of me. He loves me and forgives me according to some of his followers, but some of his betrothed and beloved sure seem to openly and sincerely hope I drop dead.

I am not even in the mood for the kind of guilt, lies, threats, or other shit some of them are laying down with their atrocity propaganda and their war propaganda.

When I rebuild and relaunch and rise from the ashes of your mindless rock chucking zersetsung gang stalking mob, it’s going to be an unapologetically secular experience.

Greg Abbott and Donald Trump and the FBI didn’t do shit about anyone who ever burned down a city on their watch or who ever threatened me with violence. If you admire Pinochet, if you admire rounding up dissidents and fillings up prisons and locking up all of your political opponents or locking up people for engaging in first amendment protected activities like speech, protest, or public assembly then just “re” “elect” “Joe.” He didn’t promise any of these things in his campaign like Donald Trump did, but my god, “Joe” at least delivered some of them in his first term.

I have never seen Josh Hawley or Mike Pompeo pledge to protect and defend Americans or say I’d be safe no matter how much it would cost us. I have never seen them pledge to give every American a penny that cries … or wipe every American tear dry… is all I’m saying…

‘Why, I’ve done all the screaming already,’ said the Queen. ‘What would be the good of having it all over again?’